Inuyashsa and The Cavern Of Totally Random Events
by ManaMage
Summary: When Inuyasha and friends enter a cave searching for a jewel shard they don't know what they're in for.
1. Entering the Cave

**Inuyasha and the Cavern of Completley Random Events**

"It's definitly this way," Kagome said.

She was on the trail of a jewel shard. She already had lead them into a forest of magenta trees. Yes magenta trees.

"I hate this place, it's really creepy," Shippou shivered.

"Aw shove it you big baby" Inuyasha replied.

"There!" Kagome yelled and pointed to a cave.

"Oh how wonderful a dark cave," Miroku mentioned.

"Don't even think about it you pervert!"Sango snapped.

"Think of what?"

"Urg"

" No more talking lets get in grab the shard and get out" Inuyasha barked.

So in they went...

" It's even creepier in here than in the..."

Shippou was cut off when they were all suddenly jerked. Jerked as if you were going down a roller coaster. They were all instantly knocked out.

When Inuyasha woke up he was in a huge room. It was very pink and their was foam and bubbles everywhere.

"Where the hell am I?. And where the hell is everyone else?"

"HI INUYASHA" came a high voice.

When he turned around there was a giant bar of soap. With arms, legs and a face.

"What the hell...

"TIME FOR A BATH INUYASHA...

_MEANWHILE_

When Shippou awakened. He was in a cheese room. Everything was made out of cheese. Except the cactuses they were real.

"Weird," Shippou said as he scratched his head. Some cheese fell.

"I must have gotten some cheese in my hair."

But when he looked at his hands they were cheese. In fact he had been turned into cheese.

"Man I never am going to eat cheese again...

_MEANWHILE_

Sango woke with a chill. She seemed to be in the tundra. Surrounded by birds... No!Not penguins.. peacocks. Wearing tuxedos.

"Come on girly let's dance." One peacock said to her.

Squaredancing music started to play. As if she was a puppet she was being forced too dance with them. After 5 minutes the music changed to battle music. The birds all pulled out machettes and started swordfighting except she had no machette.. or any of her weapons... only a quill.

"Oh boy this can't be good...

_MEANWHILE_

Kagome woke up to what looked like a gym from her time. She suddenly noticed that she was very hungry. She decided to get up and look around. But she was having a hard time getting up. She felt heavy. When she saw herself in a mirror she screamed!

She was fat. Not chubby fat or plump fat. We're talking walrus on a binge fat.

"OH MY GOD!"

Out of nowhere a fitness insturctor entered the room.

"O.K. you flabby lady let's get ready to sweat" he said.

" Oh no.."Kagome whimpered.

_MEANWHILE_

Miroku found himself unable to move. All he could see was plaid.He was sewn too a piece of plaid fabric. The way he saw it he was sewn to some picnic blanket. That was good ladies always went on picnics.

But when a large lumberjack like fellow picked up...

"Oh No! This cannot be...

END OF CHAPTER 1!


	2. Of mimes, juice and fat girls pulling sl...

**Inuyasha:CCRE Chapter 2**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.. otherwise things would be different...**_

_**Sango: Like...**_

_**sangolover: Nothing Never mind hehehe.**_

_**Sango: GRRRR!**_

"Ok you giant pink freak, get ready to die", Inuyasha yelled as he attempted to pull out Tetusaiga.

The key word is attempted because when he pulled it out instead of a sword there was a... toothbrush..

" Where the hell am I?The cave of good hygene..." The soap continued advancing..

"Fine I'll have to use the claws then.."

So he attempted to cut it in half but when he tried a mime holding a bottle of shampoo leaped from inside the soap and sprayed him in the eyes...It wasn't gentle baby shampoo either!

" Oh it burns.. you pink bastard.. I'll kill you..I'll kill you

" Wheee. Get behind the ears Inuyasha" the soap said as the mime climbed back in..

Inuyasha started to run away when he couldn't find anywhere to get to. He began to get worried. Then the ground under him turned to oatmeal.. he started sinking...

" What evers down here is bound to be better than this so down down down he went...

When he fell he just saw red liquid below him...

"What the hell is that..."

SPLASH! He landed right in it!

"This stuff is sticky and tastes...fruity..."

MEANWHILE

" You know what,"Shippou said to himself,"Being cheese isn't that bad."

He started wandering around while playing with his kendama...

Suddenly a mouse ran up to him...

"Youre not going to eat me are you?"Shippou feared.

"Oh no. I'm a vegan. I'm here to protest you...

"O..K... what's a vegan..." Shippou asked

The mouse didn't listen it just held up a protest sign and started walking too and fro..

"This is really weird..."Shippou muttered.

Suddenly a tuna sanwhich appeared out of nowhere..

"What the...?"

The sanwhich smashed the mouse with a tin of mayo then opened a vortex that sucked Shippou in...

When he landed with a bump he noticed that he was no longer cheese..

"What a relief to be out of that...OH MY GOODNESS!"he started yelling.

Why? Because there was a huge pitcher of juice and Inuyasha was floating inside it.

"Inuyasha are you O.K."Shippou asked

"Glug Blug bddlaad" Inuayasha gargled.

"What the.." he was cut off when right behind him a huge lumberjack started pouring the juice into a glass.

Miroku saw them but was busy trying to brush the crumbs off of him..he was used to wipe the face of the lumber jack. The lumberjack folded the napkin into a paper airplane and flung him away.

Miroku used his wind tunnel to propel himself. He flew and flew right into another vortex...

He wound up on a beach...

_MEANWHILE_

"Ok Sango keep cool" Sango thought to herself,"No, I'm cool enough as it is"She shivered...

"We're just jooooking girly," a peacock said to her, "We don't wan't to fight you.. we want to sacrifice you to the king of the arctic poultry.

"Oh that's so much better"Sango replied.

She was looking for a way to escape..when something caught her eye a fat girl tied to a dog sled.

There appeared to me a man yelling, "Run you fatty,run!"

As it passed Sango hopped on. The birds just shrugged and started to play checkers. Sango asked the man why there was a girl tied to the sleigh.

"Weight training," was all he said..

It was odd that girl looked a little like Kagome. But that was impossible. Suddenly the sled took a sharp turn and she fell off. She was floundering in the cold water when a beaver swam up and offered her a ride.

She grabbed hold of his tail and off they went. The started into some warm water.

"This is your stop", the beaver said.

"Thank you very much" she said as she swam to the shore of a tropical beach...

_MEANWHILE_

Kilala was beginning to wonder what was taking so long in there...

End of Chapter 2!


	3. Juice, hippos and lots of candy!

**Inuyasha: CCRE Chapter 3**

_**sangolover: I'm hooking you up here Miroku**_

_**Miroku: Thanks a lot.**_

_**Sango: What are you two up too...**_

_**sangolover: fleee!**_

The lumberjack looked like he wanted to eat poor lil Shippou

"Inuyasha,"Shippou called," You need to get out of there and help me deal with this big scary man"

"I'm a little busy right now Shippou," Inuyasha yelled.

"I guess it's up to me then..." Shippou was shivering.

"Excuse me lil squirrel..." The lumberjack said.

"I'm a fox," Shippou shot back.

"A fox...I'm terrified...of foxes...all I wanted was to ask you for a potato... AAAAAAAAAA" he picked up all of his stuff and ran away.

"GRRRR," Shippou made his fiercest face, which honoustly wasn't very fierce, to make it look like he scared him away himself.

"Um...Shippou...A LITTLE HELP"Inuyasha called.

For the first time Shippou noticed that the pitcher Inuyasha was in had a face...an...evil face...

"MUHAHAHAHAHAAHA," the pitcher laughed, "Join us little fox, you too can become a part of Mool-Aid.

As you may have realized this is the ancestor of the Kool-aid man. Yes the Kool-Aid man is a demon. It's true.

"What makes you think I'm part of you,"Inuyasha growled

"Oh everyone will be a part of me...

"Suddenly Inuyasha felt around in his robe when he stumbled on some ramen he was saving he poured it all through the Mool-Aid man...

"Nooo that is not an acceptable flavour...I leave my essence in this packet for 500 years" the mool-aid man threw a packet in the air then exploded...

"Yay" Shippou cheered

Inuyasha then started to wring all the juice out of his robe while he talked to Shippou..

"So where the hell are we?" he asked him.

"I don't know but this place is weird...

"It suuuuuuure is" said a huge lollipop that appeared out of nowhere..

"Yummy..." Shippou stared as if he were hypnotized...

"Join me little one...

"Yes sir"

"Shippou what the hell are you doing?" Inuyasha asked him.

"I've been discovered" the lollipop shreiked then imploded into a black hole...

"Inuyasha help!" Shippou yelled as he was sucked in...

"Damn it" Inuyasha kicked a rock.

Then the rock kicked him...yet it had no feet...that could be seen... Until it attacked...

"Oh good lord...

_MEANWHILE_

Shippou was in heaven. He was in a literal candy land...where he was the emporer...When he arrived the candy bretheren all bowed to him...

"Finally, I get what I want" Shippou said...

Unfortunatley he knew not of the candy cane assassin that lurked in the shadows...

_MEANWHILE_

Miroku soon learned that this beach wasn't like the beach's Kagome told him about. The one she discribed had females in skimpy outfits. This had humongous multi-colour beasts on it. Something quickly caught his eye..

"Sango, hey Sango" he called to her.

"Oh hello, Miroku,"Sango greeted him, "I'm so glad to find someone else here. Where do you think we are?"

"I have no idea", Miroku answered, " All I know is I don't like it."

"You just don't like it because Kagome always talked about girls half naked at the beach but here there are just strange beasts"Sango said.

"You could always...

"Dont even think about it...Slap

"Oh well. Every man can have his dreams" Miroku winced. " Have you noticed these things have been looking at us strangeley?"

"They look hungry" Sango noted.

"Run!"Miroku yelled.

One of the beasts yelled,"Go hungry-hungry Hippos get them!"

So they ran and ran and ran some more. Sango whipped Hiraikotsu at them. It broke a few of them in half. Miroku tried his wind tunnel but they were just too fat to be sucked up. Luckily for them a little boy wielding a lute appeared. He was the worst they'd ever heard. An unknown fact: Hungry-Hungry Hippo's hate string music. They all transformed into pigeons and flew away...

"Sometimes I think this place couldn't get any stranger and then it does" Miroku sighed.

And it did again. The little lute player ripped open a vortex with an extremeley high pitched wave and flung Sango in..

"Sango..." Miroku was alone again.

The beach had vanished he was sitting in a washtub floating down a river. A rainbow appeared on the water. The washtub then floated up one side of a rainbow and down the other. Oddly it connected to another river. As Miroku scanned ahead he noticed something this river was flowing right into a volcano!

_MEANWHILE_

Sango was in flying. She was just floating among the clouds.

"This isn't so bad" she said to herself.

A hotair baloon floated up to her and pulled her in.

"Thank you for helping me I guess...What in the name of..."Sango couldn't finish.

Inside the baloon was a hand with eyes and a mouth. It was trying to get too her butt...

_MEANWHILE_

Kagome had got back down to her normal weight so her weight trainer left her alone.

She sat in the middle of a playground thinking about where she was. She decided to play for a while it was just so tempting. So she went down the slide a few times. Then she played on the swings, then the monkey bars then the see-saw. When other little kids came to play she just scared them away. She herself had turned into an 8 year old child. So she played and played and played. She got so tired she finally had to stop. Then she was lonley so she started to cry.

A caterpillar approached her and said "Please don't cry little girl...for I am going to put you out of your misery" he pulled out a sword and lunged towards her.

Kagome squished him with her foot. A clan of the caterpillars attacked her seeking revenge. After stepping on all of them she stopped crying. (pretty twisted huh?)

"That was fun, but I wish I had some candy" Kagome wished.

A slug magcian appeared and said " For ridding us of the caterpillar menace I will grant you your wish I will send you too the land of candy."

Poof! In a puff of smoke she appeared in a land of cavaties, sugar buzzes and short attention spans. Shippou's Candy Land.

She ate some candy then she ate some more. Then more and more and more. Until not only was she as fat as she was before she was also a little girl. A strong looking licorice appeared and said

"Ok you plump little girl it's time to burn of that candy"

"Oh no...not again...


End file.
